Email the reviewerManowar, "The Sons of Odin"
1434 people in attendance.
1100 used condoms discovered.
9857 liters of beer consumed.
451 band-themed tattoos exhibited.
These are only a few of the statistics gathered at the three day Manowar convention held in Geiselwind, Germany in 2005. Yes, that’s correct: Manowar convention. It may seem outlandish, excessive, or just plain silly, but damned if it didn’t look like one of the best times a true metal fan could ever dream of.
For those mathematicians out there, 9857 liters of beer converts to 2 603.94 gallons, which equates to nearly 2 gallons of beer per person. So, even the Manowar haters have something to cheer about on this one.
An even more astounding statistic is the 1100 used condoms. Let’s be generous and assume that 40% of the attendees were female (though the actual number is undoubtedly lower). That means that 573 (give or take .6) women were there. Therefore, on average, every woman engaged in at least 1.92 sexual acts while at the convention (e.g. physically at the convention, not in their hotel rooms or cars). Remember, those were only the condoms found literally on the convention premises. Not only this, but considering the fact that two children were conceived and the winner of the drinking contest (a female) was nude on stage by the end of her round, with men in the audience waving their genitalia up at her, I’m willing to wager that at least a few hundred acts got past the census.
For more unusual tidbits of info and lascivious live footage, you’ll have to pick up the Immortal Edition of Manowar’s new EP, ‘The Sons of Odin’. It includes the bonus DVD, with the half-hour convention documentary, photo slideshow of the band’s Earthshaker Fest set, and 5.1 mixes of all the tracks from the EP. The EP itself is short at five songs (two of which are interludes) and only 24 minutes. The first two tracks are live cuts taken from the aforementioned Earthshaker Fest set, which included 8 ‘Menowar’, both current and previous (and three, count ‘em, three drummers on stage) backed by a 100 piece orchestra.
From a strictly musical perspective, Manowar are essentially than the archetype for Rhapsody, though barbaric and leather-clad instead of Sylvan and bloused. And, too, like Rhapsody (at least recently), the songs on ‘The Sons of Odin’ often feel strangely incomplete, as if they are all building towards a raging, up-tempo battle anthem that never reaches fruition. The second shoe that never drops. For example, the title track: it builds to a low chugging riff and a narrative, march-like verse, but never develops a serious musical climax. That task, in typical Manowar fashion, is left to an ominous voiceover regaling us of valiant barbarians fighting against innumerable odds, and how they were suddenly overcome by a gift from Odin, the “berserk rage”.
Clearly, this was Manowar’s cue to unleash their own berserk rage on the listener, blasting away like we all know they can and doing the All-Father proud. But instead, the symphony merely swells in the background for a few, hopeful moments, and then the song ends in disappointment. It was an entertaining track, to say the least, but ultimately a tease.
The first actual song, ‘King of Kings’, is the only one to fulfill expectations, featuring a positively blazing solo and a catchy chorus harking back to the swinging groove of ‘Fast Taker’. Though now more the grizzled veteran than the Herculean titan of youth seen on their album covers, this song proves that Manowar still have significant technical and songwriting talents. Die-hard and casual fans alike would do well to explore their up-coming full length, if ‘King of Kings' is any indication of their direction.
The only truly significant experience here, though, is the documentary. It is important not only as a testament to this band’s tremendous impact upon thousands of fans worldwide, but also as an anthropological study. We need proof of events like these; otherwise, our Orwellian grandchildren simply will not believe us when we reminisce about the Viking re-enactors, the arm wrestling contests, the unfathomable consumption of alcohol, and the wanton, tribal sex. And all of it done in the name of Manowar. Death to False Metal.
Standout Tracks King of Kings |
